One of the Best Election Speeches I’ve Ever Heard

Three important qualities that speakers need to have in any speech are humor, logic, and the Wow! factor. The speech below is a masterpiece. It’s short, succinct and has all three qualities. I’m impressed.

“For the past two years I have asked the same simple request. Vote for the person you believe would be most suited for the position they are applying for. Obviously that tactic didn’t work since this entire election is a popularity contest. In that case I will always lose.

I’ve decided to change my offer. I am running for the Treasury position. Math is my favorite and my best subject. To face the facts; I am a nerd. Since I am good with numbers I am definitely qualified for the position I am running for.

Several students have mentioned they want a voice in deciding what happens during the next school year. If I am elected, feel free to talk to me with your ideas and comments. I will also set up a website with a forum and polls designed to gather student input in an orderly fashion so all ideas can be collected and analyzed. The website’s url will be released next year.

Now for the incentive. I know that very few people will vote for me so I decided to make a totally uncharacteristic and crazy proposal.

If I win the election, I will go to next year’s senior prom…with a tuxedo and pants I will make myself… out of ducktape.

So if you want to see me at prom looking like an idiot, vote for me as your 2009 Treasurer!

…and yes, I did win!”

Turning a Joke into a Great Story

Many times an inexperienced speaker will resort to reading a joke he found on the internet and it will usually flop. What they need to do instead is to take that joke and turn it into a believable story and then add the vocal variety of a story teller.

Here’s how to do it:

#1. Find a funny joke or story.
Is it funny to you? If not, don’t use it.
a. Personal experience. (This is the best source of humor.)
b. Research: TV, books, etc.

#2. Write it down, but KISS.
Ink it – don’t think it. Keep it short and simple.

#3. Put it into your own words.
Once you find a story you like, re-write it in your own words and vocabulary so it becomes your story.

#4. Make it realistic.
Tell it as if it were true. Your audience came to hear you and your experiences. Make them believe what you’re saying. If your story is built around a totally impossible situation, like a conversation you had with a little green man from Mars, then introduce it this way. “The other night, I had the strangest dream. I dreamed a UFO landed in my back yard.”

#5. Localize Your Humor
You know the audience, what they do, what they are interested in and where they are located. Make your story local.

#6, Practice, practice, practice.
A. Practice into a tape recorder, practice to your friends, practice going to and from work in your car. And when you think you’ve got a story pretty well perfected, give it the final test. Tell it to your family at the breakfast table. That’s the greatest challenge of all.

B. Master that punch line.
The climax, the dramatic ending must be carefully written and always delivered exactly the same way. Memorize it. Memorize it so well that if you wake up in the middle of the night you can shout it out without the slightest chance of error.

#7. If the joke works, put it in your “joke file.”
It’s easy to find humorous material if you’re looking for it, but it’s also just as easy to forget it. So, keep a file where you keep those funny stories. The computer is the ideal place to save these stories. You could also use a 3 x 5 card file or any other method you choose.